On the days leading up to the New Year I found myself not only reflecting on the past year but also the past 30 or so. The 20 or so years prior to this was a time I guess I just lived without reflection at all.
I find myself looking at my past wants and desires along with all the new year’s resolutions I never managed to keep why? Because the demands I made upon myself were unattainable and more importantly I offered myself little respect: confirming I desired to be someone different, be somewhere different, with someone different or doing something different, however for the first time I was with, where, what and more importantly who I wanted to be.
I have always thought of myself as intellectual with complex needs. How far from the truth this turns out to be. As I look back over the years the realisation gently unfolds, my needs and desires are actually incredibly simple; My only desire is that my 2 beautiful girls are ok. And all they need is to feel safe, important and respected.
‘Safe Important and Respected, ‘it really is that simple. The simplicity occurs to me and I realise this is all I have ever needed too.
Anyone who knows me knows that foremost I am a mother and was put on this earth to have children. For me it’s the most blessed gift I have been given and when I look at my girls it occurs to me these blessed gifts quite rightly deserve ‘yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir’…….I brought them into this world and they deserved to be made to feel Safe Important and Respected (SIR). For me, rightly or wrongly it all starts with my girls and meeting their needs is my number one priority but today as I reflect on 2018 it occurs to me this wonderful gift, I am finally able to bestow upon myself.
Happy New Year.